I’m done…

So… I suck. I’ll be the first to admit it. So much for updating soon, huh?

Tonight was a really good night. I spent some time with my friend, Susannah and really enjoyed myself.

Got home… Justin got home around 1am. He tells me that he will officially be down to 25 hours a week starting next week. He’s done doing nightly shifts as of tomorrow. *cry*

Got an e-mail from a very important person telling me how disappointed they were with me. Same person who didn’t accept or return my call earlier this week (Mind you I hadn’t read the e-mail at that point… so she probably assumed I was calling about that). I HATE disappointing people. Especially those who are important to me. But.. regarding money, of course, I’m just at a loss.

What am I supposed to do? I am working 50-60 hours a week trying to make enough money to pay bills, buy groceries, etc. And I’m barely making that happen. I haven’t been home since October, and even then it was literally for 2 days. I hate it out here. I am *FINALLY* making friends that I like and want to actually let into my life and I can’t even let myself into my life. How am I supposed to let them in?

I hate being a ‘grown up’. I hate living 8 zillion miles away from everyone and everything that I love. I hate not knowing how I’m going to get to work day to day. I hate public transportation. I hate phones. I hate e-mail. I hate 2008.. and 2009. I hate crying.

Tomorrow is my day off. What a way to start.

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